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INTRODUCTION
Students come to college with a sense of anticipation and excitement.
It is supposed to be the “best time of their lives” and it is an opportunity
to meet new people, make new friends, acquire new ideas, and take on new
responsibilities for managing their lives.
Parents are also faced with
new situations, from dealing with an empty nest, to establishing new house
rules; from adjusting to less contact with the offspring, to figuring out
how much money is too much money to send each month; and from having more
time on your hands to do what you would like, to figuring out how the
hierarchy in your family has changed with one less person around, i.e., who
picks up the slack with the house chores; or perhaps there is just less to
be picked up around the house. It is a time of change, a time to
figure out the balance between how to let go and hold on at the same time.
TRANSITION
Most students will make the transition to college and figure out how to
navigate through all the stuff associated with roommates or commuting,
studying or socializing, experimenting or resisting, self-reliance or
dependence, competence or irresponsibility. Some students will
struggle during the first semester/year of college and may find that the
coping, problem-solving, and decision making skills that worked in high
school are not always as effective in the college environment. The
college environment challenges students to a higher standard of managing
their emotions and solving their problems on their own. When students
struggle it can cause interference with their academic, career, and personal
goals and result in self sabotaging or destructive behaviors. For
these students, college is not the best time of their lives, it is a
confusing and threatening time in their lives, and they may have difficulty
talking about what is going wrong.
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Below are some resources that contain
helpful information for parents. |
| College of the
Overwhelmed: The Campus Mental Health Crisis and What to Do About It/Richard
Kadison, Theresa Foy DiGeronimo |
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When Kids Go to College: A Parent's Guide to Changing Relationships/Barbara
M. Newman, Philip R. Newman |
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Letting Go: A Parents' Guide to Understanding the College Years/Karen
Levin Coburn, Madge Lawrence Treeger |
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Don't Tell Me What to Do, Just Send Money: The Essential Parenting
Guide to the College Years/Helen E. Johnson, Christine
Schelhas-Miller |
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How to Survive in an Empty Nest: Reclaiming Your Life When Your
Children Have Grown/Robert Lauer |
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Almost Grown: Launching Your Child from High School to College/Patrick
Pasick |
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Empty Nest, Full Heart: The Journey from Home to College/Andrea
Van Steenhouse, Johanna Parker |
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The Launching Years/Jennifer Wyatt, Laura Kastner |
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You're On Your Own (But I'm Here if You Need Me): Mentoring Your Child
During the College Years/Marjorie Savage |
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COUNSELING SERVICES
Counseling Services provides short term counseling for students who are
struggling with the developmental, interpersonal, academic, or psychological
concerns that are associated with adjusting to the college environment.
We assist students in exploring options and developing solutions to address
their concerns and help them to be successful, personally, academically, and
socially. The services are free of charge and open to enrolled
students.
SIGNS A STUDENT IS STRUGGLING or
EXPERIENCING PROBLEMS
Students who struggle with the adjustment to college can adopt behaviors
that communicate that they are having a tough time, are stuck, or need some
help. Students are not always aware they are struggling, and if they
are aware, they are not always willing to ask for help for fear of
disappointing others or admitting they need help. After all, they are
in college now and are supposed to know how to deal with the stuff that
comes their way. It is important that we recognize the signs of
distress, act quickly to communicate our concern, and help the students find
ways to solve the problems they are facing.
Students who struggle may
communicate their confusion, stress, or needs in one or more of the
following behaviors:
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Express concern about
being homesick, friendsick, or not fitting in at college.
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Change in appearance
(poor hygiene, weight gain/loss, extreme wardrobe changes).
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Increased use of negative
language to describe their situation; increased expression of helplessness
(I can’t…, I don’t…, I won’t…, I coulda’…, I woulda’…, I shoulda’…) or
increased blaming of others for their problems (roommates, faculty,
friends, family members).
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Expressions of
hopelessness (“nothing ever works”; “nobody understands me”;
“nothing matters anyway”; “there is no point in trying”).
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Mood swings or a
sad/depressed mood that does not seem to go away.
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Irritability or a
negative attitude that persists for no apparent reason.
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Change in communication
patterns – less open, vague responses when asked about school or life at
college, withdrawal from family, friends, or activities.
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Difficulty with
concentration or motivation.
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Trouble sleeping, loss of
appetite or interest in usual activities.
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Underachieving or
academic difficulties (missing classes, failing grades, dropping classes).
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Career confusion
(dissatisfied with their major or career choice, increased or unreasonable
stress related to career decisions).
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Discipline infractions or
financial problems.
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Difficulty adjusting to a
recent loss (death of a loved one, break up of a relationship, significant
loss in the family – separation/divorce, job, home, or a recent illness.
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Unusual behavior or
thoughts.
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Change in lifestyle that
results in less communication, less success in school, and seems to have a
negative affect on personality and relationships.
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Increase concern about
the use of alcohol or drugs.
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Direct or indirect
expression of suicide ideation or interest in death (“I just wish I could
go away for awhile”; “Nothing works, I wish I were dead”; “I
just want to be invisible or disappear”; “I’d be better off if I
were dead”).
HOW TO RESPOND
If your son or daughter is showing one or more of the signs listed above, or
perhaps other behaviors that raise your concern, then we recommend that you
talk with your student about your concerns and provide them the opportunity
to share what is going on in their life. Let them know you will listen
and try to help them find solutions to their problems. Be patient and
focus on the behavior that concerns you and how they think their situation
can improve. Ask them what they think is wrong, how they have thought
about fixing it, or who they would feel comfortable talking to about these
concerns.
If your son or daughter is
resistant or denies your concern, then suggest they follow up with an RA,
Commuter Assistant, chaplain, or counselor, or call Counseling Services to
help you feel better and allow them to get a second opinion. Or let
them know you will make the call to one of the staff because you want to be
sure they have the support they need and you are willing to help them get
it.
If it is an emergency
situation call Campus Safety at 814.871.7690 or Crisis Services at
814.456.2014.
CONFIDENTIALITY
Students who seek assistance through Counseling Services are treated with
respect and dignity, and as such, all communications with the counseling
staff are held as confidential. The staff will reveal no information
to parents, or any other third party, without written permission from the
student. The staff will not reveal the identity of students who seek
services, discuss information discussed in therapy sessions, or confirm or
deny a student has received services.
Staff can and will provide
general consultation to parents, and/or faculty who have concerns about a
particular student, though we will not discuss a student’s specific case.
Parents and faculty will be encouraged to communicate their concerns
directly to the student and encourage the student to seek help. With
the parent's or faculty person's permission, counseling staff will contact
the student and provide him/her the opportunity to meet with a counselor.
We will encourage the student to keep open communication with the parent or
faculty member.
Confidentiality will be
broken only when a counseling staff member has direct knowledge that a
student poses a clear and present danger to harm self or another
identifiable person. Staff will work with the student to provide the
appropriate intervention (increased counseling sessions, referral to family
doctor, hospital, or psychiatrist, medical leave from school). If
necessary, staff will notify parents, University officials, and appropriate
authorities in order to protect the student, or another person from harm.
Students who seek
counseling are notified of this exception when they complete the intake
forms at their initial registration with Counseling Services.
Return to Counseling Services home |
